I became a mom four years ago. I have one kid so far and a beagle named Daisy. You’re probably thinking, she’s got one kid. She doesn’t know a thing about parenting. Well, I may only have one kid, but my one kid is a free spirit. I am introvert, my husband is an extrovert and we are raising an extrovert. She loves people, animals and has personality for days!
When I first became a mom (and actually a dog mom too), I felt like my world closed up a little. My husband and I had been married two years before we adopted Daisy and five years before having a child. I had wanted freedom and having a dog and kid, doesn’t fit that bill. The changes that occurred after each transition really took a toll on me. I think I even told my husband to take the dog back to the owner, because I couldn’t deal with the changes. I mean for real, I remember sitting in the car telling my husband that I couldn’t do it. All this over a dog! Well, you know how this story ends if you follow me on social media. We still have miss Daisy and we’ve had her for almost 8 years.
So, if I made this big deal over a dog, you can see how having a child really messed up my philosophy of being free and tied down. What ties you down more than having kids, I really don’t know. All I know is that I felt the same way I did with Daisy with Addie, only I couldn’t take her back to her owner lol! So here I went, full steam ahead into motherhood. Trying to work full time and do all the things that I was supposed to do as a mom, breastfeed, attend play dates ( I even started my own mom’s meet up), and all the things that come with motherhood and parenthood. It was exhausting and I had given up everything that I enjoyed doing. I don’t think I picked up a book for two years. Even walking my dog, which I enjoyed doing became a chore. For the first two years of motherhood, I struggled to find out who I was as a mom.
In early 2017, I was struggling with my weight and both my husband and I went on weight watchers. On it, He lost like 50 lbs and I lost about 30 lbs. I had thought that losing the weight would make me feel better, but it didn’t. I still had all the problems I had before (like low confidence, crankiness, etc.), but skinnier. I had already graduated from my Martha Beck training and had started following a bunch of my instructors on Facebook. Susan Hyatt (www.shyatt.com) was one of my instructors. In the back of my mind, I knew weight watchers didn’t really work. I had been on it before and had gained most of my weight back. This time I was adamant that I wasn’t going to gain the weight back and I looked into Susan’s program called BARE Daily that she just released. I knew a little bit about it, I knew the program helped people lose weight, so I thought what the heck, let’s give it a try.
When I first joined, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but what I found was an awesome support network and new friends and coaches. The second step in the program is pleasure. I remember thinking, what do I do for fun or for myself? I literally sat down on my sofa and cried because I hadn’t really done anything for myself since my daughter was born. Sure, I went on a couple trips, but I wasn’t infusing pleasure into my daily life. And life with a newborn/toddler can be stressful, especially if you have other kids or you’re a new mom and have no clue about anything. I had stopped reading, I had stopped baking, my husband and I weren’t going on regular date nights, walking the dog became a chore because I had to lug out the baby with a stroller and then get the dog ready. I had zero pleasure going on.
So here I was sitting on my sofa wondering what I could do for pleasure. I started out by picking something small, reading a book for 15 minutes before I went to bed. Getting myself flowers from the store or farmers market, baking some cookies or muffin or just sitting and enjoying a cup of tea. I actually really started to enjoy pleasure week and this one change in my life, impacted my mental health and well-being immensely. Learning to care for myself was extremely helpful in navigating parenting a baby/toddler.
After being in BARE for a year and half now, I know have a pleasure routine. I get up early so I have some time to myself before my daughter gets up, I may walk the dog, drink some tea or do some light stretching. On the days, I am off work, while she naps, I work on my business and have some tea. When I am at work, I infuse my day with walking, music and podcasts. And in the evening, I mix it up between walking my dog, reading, watching a show or taking a nice bath.
I am also currently in training to be a BARE Certified Coach with the lovely Susan Hyatt.
This has been awesome journey for me and if you are feeling the same way I did, I would love to chat with you. This work is so important to me and I can’t wait to meet you!
If you’re interested, click here to schedule a 30 minute mini session to chat more. I look forward to hearing from you!