Children’s bedtime routines can get the best of any parent. I think it is probably the most stressful time of my day and my husbands as well. When we finally get her in bed, it’s like, what can we watch, eat, drink, etc. to settle our nerves? We think the pleasure of a Netflix binge or having an alcoholic beverage is going to make us feel better. And it might for a quick second.
Let’s talk about this though. How often do you find yourself going on a Netflix binge? Is it every night? Or maybe it’s a glass of wine? Are you drinking one glass, two glasses or maybe 3? I’m not judging over here. I have been in this place, only my drug of choice is social media or more specifically Facebook. We all have something we do to numb our emotions. We often think that this is not a problem in our lives because everyone does it; it’s so mainstream these days. We say to ourselves, “If it doesn’t hurt anyone than what’s the harm? It’s not like I’m addicted to drugs or alcohol.”
Because of my addiction to Facebook lol, I see so many memes about how moms need wine or target to buffer our stress when it comes to our kids. Yes, kids can be stressful. Being a mom can be stressful, we are all juggling numerous balls in the air and when one ball falls, it creates a tumbling mess.
Sitting down after a long day and having a glass of wine can seem like the best stress relief and it can in the moment. Again, I am not here to judge you for drinking or watching a show. I just want you to notice why you’re doing it. Become more self-aware and think about why you’re doing it. Also think about how you feel when you sit down to relax with a drink or get on Facebook. Are you bored or anxious? A lot of times we do these activities because they are mindless and we don’t really want to deal with what is really bothering us.
So you already know my drug of choice is Facebook. I love connecting with my friends and family and seeing what is new in everyone’s life. Here is my story.
There was a challenge in Susan Hyatt’s BARE Daily: To monitor how much time I was spending on social media. I found that I was spending 2-3 hours a day on social media. I was like whoa, that is A LOT!
After noticing how much time I was spending, I did a little experiment. I started tuning into how I was feeling when I would get on social media. I found out that I was bored. Bored with my life, bored with the same ‘ol same ‘ol. I also realized that I wasn’t living up to my potential. I craved more freedom and creativity in my life and wanted more of that. I also noticed that my love of social media was causing stress in my relationships, especially with my daughter. I noticed I wasn’t being as present as I wanted to be as a mom. So I had two things that my addiction to social media created: less freedom and less presence.
Master Life Coach, Brooke Castillo calls what I was doing buffering. I was buffering my feelings with Facebook. It was almost like I didn’t want to feel boredom or I didn’t know what to do with that feeling, so I avoided it. To be honest, I also did with this food.
After some coaching about these things, I began to fill my life with things that gave me pleasure and things that gave me a challenge. That is when I signed up for BARE Coach Training and I started really upping my pleasure routines in the morning and at night. These things gave me the space to be a more conscious mom. I now have blocks set up on my phone where I don’t receive any notifications every evening from 6-8pm. That time is blocked off for family and dinner times, so if you text me during that time, I don’t see it right away. I also don’t receive any Facebook notifications anymore either, which means I actually have to go into the app to see my notifications. It is such a huge game changer.
Now, mind you, I do still get on Facebook, but I don’t let it rule my life anymore. I intentionally set it up so I’m only on it at certain times of the day.
My challenge to you this month is to look at where you are spending your time and see if you are buffering your feelings with something. It could be social media, wine, food, or something else.
WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT??
P.S Let me help you get what you want! If you want to schedule a time to chat, click here to schedule a FREE 30 minute mini-session!